Tonstrix

From The Seven Sages of Rome

Tonstrix

A rich and jealous merchant marries an incredibly beautiful woman, who he keeps in isolation out of fear for infidelity. When he has to travel for work, he leaves her in the care of his clerk and her best friend, a barber. At the same time, a count arrives in town and hears of the merchant’s wife’s beauty. He approaches the barber to arrange a meeting, and she agrees in exchange for cash. The three meet and drink wine, but the count and the merchant’s wife fall fast asleep from the wine. The merchant finds he has forgotten an important document and returns to the house, where he is enraged to find his wife in bed with a man. The clerk requests that a priest cleanses the souls of the count and the wife before the merchant kills them, which he agrees to. Under the guise of fetching the priest, the clerk makes the barber aware of the situation. She borrows a robe and, pretending to be the priest, asks to be alone with the adulterers. She wakes them up and tells the count to swap clothes with her and scold the merchant for playing a trick on a priest, as there are two women in the bed. She then goes and explains to the merchant that she has dressed up as him to cheer up his wife, who was depressed after he left, and, exhausted from laughing, they had fallen asleep.

(From Murko, summarised by Ava Byrne)

Note

Entered by Ava Byrne

Full translation of Murko's reproduction below.

In the English capital, London, there lived a very rich merchant; he kept some of his own ships to increase his wealth and sent them to the Eastern countries for the most expensive goods, and he was so fortunate that they always returned to him without misfortune.  

He had only one son, who was well-built but lacked a beautiful face. He cared little for his father’s business, for he realised that it was unnecessary for him to strive for greater wealth.

After his father’s death, he inherited a large amount; he did not completely abandon the business but kept only one ship for himself and sold the others.  

He began to live now very contentedly, lacking nothing except a wide to make the contentment complete. The great wealth of this young merchant attracted many maidens, but he found none who could touch his heart, because he was seeking the most beautiful maiden in the entire city.

Finally, he found one whose beauty was much talked about. He made an effort to win this maiden over and spent a great deal of money to see and speak with her. He truly found in her everything that was said, and from that time on, he loved her sincerely.

Because a golden key opens all locks, it was no wonder that this rich merchant managed to touch the heart of the beautiful Karoline. The magnificent gifts he showered on his bride also awakened within her love for her future master, and so they soon entered into matrimony.  

This merchant now loved his wife more than all his wealth; wherever she wanted to go, he was her companion; he left the house with her and returned with her.  

Because after his downfall, he wanted to live more carefree and not run as big a business as his deceased father had, he dismissed all the staff except an elderly clerk, to make infidelity on his wife’s part impossible. He also disliked company, so his house was always empty of guests. Only a female barber, who lived nearby, had permission to visit his wife whenever she pleased. But because this neighbour was still a young woman, they mostly talked about her previous single status. The barber (or barber's wife, unclear in Murko) greatly won the merchant’s wife’s love through her detailed stories, and thus she often received gifts from her. These gifts increased the barber’s talkativeness, but this was expressed not in flattery, but in truth: for many young men awaited the exit of this beautiful woman from the house, just to be able to see her.

Meanwhile, the merchant received a letter instructing him to set out for the capital without delay, to arrange for and collect the withheld customs duties from his father. Although the merchant reluctantly received this letter, he nevertheless decided, because it was very important to him, to begin the journey in two weeks.  

When the merchant’s wife was informed that her husband was about to embark on such a long journey, she expressed great sorrow, but in her heart, she rejoiced that she would at least be able to walk around the city alone for once. From that moment on, she spoke to the barber about nothing but the upcoming entertainment. At just this time, a young count from a foreign country arrived in London to visit the large, beautiful city. He soon found like-minded companions who took him to various entertainment venues and also showed him many sights. During their various conversations, the count saw a beautiful maiden walking towards him on the path; he stopped and looked at her intently. One of those present asked the count what had made him stop so unexpectedly. “The beauty of this maiden,” the count replied. “One finds more of them here,” the other said, “but a young merchant’s wife surpasses all others in beauty.” The count eagerly enquired as to which part of town she lived in. When he had learned everything from his companions, he was eager to see her.

The following day, the count rose very early and went into this street, which, along with the house, was already familiar to him. There, he passed by the shop several times to catch sight of the much-praised woman; but his efforts were in vain, for, apart from the clerk, he could see no one else. As he was about to return, he saw a sign hanging on a house not far from the merchant’s shop indicating that a barber lived there. And it occurred to him to have his beard shaved there, in order to obtain some further information about this famous woman. He entered the ground-floor room prepared for this purpose; but apart from the barber and two small children, he saw no one there. He was about to leave, but this honourable woman held him back with humble acknowledgement, saying: “Exalted sir, if you command that your beard be shaved, I can serve you myself with pleasure.” The count laughed and said: “I will be especially pleased if I can be served by a woman.” He sat down on the chair that the barber had prepared for him, and in a short time, she had completely finished her work. The count stood up and gave her a ducat.

The glitter of the gold not only moved the barber to express her special thanks, but she also offered him her services in all things. “You can oblige me to express my deep gratitude, dear lady,” said the count. “I have heard much praise about a merchant’s wife who is said to live not far from here; would it not be possible for me to see her?” “Oh good sir!” cried the barber, “she’s like my own sister, she can’t be without me for a single day. It’s true that it is very difficult for anyone to get to her, because her husband is always at home, watching his wife’s every move, but if one could stay here for a few days, they could not only see her but also talk to her about anything they like; for her husband is preparing for a long journey, and once he has left, nothing will prevent them from speaking to her. I’ll take care of everything else myself.” The count was particularly pleased with this complete explanation, took out another ducat, gave it to the barber, and said: “Dear lady, in the meantime, accept this little thing and if you fulfil your promise well, I will repay you as much as possible.” And so, he left her.

As the count had not yet even left the alley, the barber’s husband came home. She immediately hurried to the merchant’s wife with great joy, and when she saw that no one else was in her room, she began to speak to her in a low voice, as if in a state of distress: “OH dearest little sister! I cannot express the joy I felt a short while ago. Oh, the beauty, the grace of the young gentleman who was with me! I am much older than you, but I had to fall in love with him.” “Well,” asked the merchant’s wife, “have you not forgotten that you have your husband?” “You have truly guessed it. For his beautiful blond hair, his rosy face, and his blue eyes truly numbed my sensibilities so that I truly forgot my husband. But guess what he was looking for with me!” The merchant’s wife began to laugh loudly and said: “He didn’t want you to shave his beard when he was so young?” “That was the first reason he came to my house,” replied the barber, “but everything else concerns you.” Now she told her everything so touchingly that the young woman was already eager to see the much-praised youth; therefore, she promised her that she would speak with his after the master’s departure.

When the time for the master’s leaving came, he called the barber to him and said to her: “Dearest friend! You know that I must embark on a long journey away from my wife, and because she loves you so much, I beg you not to forget to visit her often and cheer her up from her sadness; I will gratefully reward this love upon my return.” The talkative woman promised to do everything carefully. The merchant gave her some ducats and asked her to stay in the house until he parted from his wife.

When he had everything prepared for his departure, he went into his weeping wife’s room. He embraced her and said: “It is already time, my dearest wife, that I part from you. Keep your pure heart and marital fidelity until I return to you.” At these words, his wife fell to the floor and fainted. The frightened merchant called the barber, who immediately rushed into the room and tried to bring the woman back to consciousness. After much effort, she succeeded and excused her feminine weakness, which stemmed solely from her great love for him. And she said: “Good sir, it is my advice that you hurry out of the house without further increasing your wife’s pain; I will take care of the rest myself, as I have to calm her down!” The merchant kissed his wife once more and sadly left the house.

With the merchant’s departure, soon his wife’s feigned sadness disappeared once the barber again told her of the count’s desire to see her. “Dearest sister,” she said, “now we are sure that we can say and do as we please. Karl must always be in the shop and even if we notice anything, you can rely on me to tie his tongue so tightly that he cannot reveal anything. Now confess to me, do you want to see this beautiful count who awaits you with such longing?” “My dearest,” replied the merchant’s wife, “I fear some stranger might notice him when he enters our house.” “Leave your unnecessary worries” the barber interrupted her speech and left her with these words.

The young count had been walking around the house for a long time, impatiently awaiting the barber’s arrival. When she noticed him, she went to him and said: “My gracious sir! Now everything is arranged according to your wishes; come with me now without worry, I will lead you into the room where the person you wish to speak with will be completely alone.” The count happily followed the barber. As they entered the house, Karl was just closing the shop door and saw this unknown guest coming in with his wife; but he paid no attention and quietly went into his little room.

The count followed his guide into the room with a trembling heart, kissed the hand of the merchant’s wife, and begged for forgiveness for daring to pay his humble respects. When the merchant’s wife saw this handsome count, she blushed and could only bow and utter no sound; but the talkative barber immediately persuaded the two young people to begin a more intimate conversation.

Then the merchant’s wife beckoned to her procuress and gave her the sign to bring a bottle of wine and some of the sweets from the shop, so that she could somehow honour this guest who was already beginning to inflame her heart. The count, recognising this, intercepted the barber and the door and pressed two ducats into her hand, demanding that she buy the best wine. The wise woman didn’t allow herself to be encouraged for long, because she knew she would have to taste everything.

While they were waiting for the barber to return with the wine, the two lovers were able to talk more intimately. We are certain of this because the barber’s return through the door interrupted the lovers’ last kiss.

Then the barber poured delicious wine into the glasses, and, within a short while, it had made them all merry with heated blood in their veins. When the barber realised that her stay had run long, she took her leave and courageously returned home.  

The wife, who was usually abstinent but had become intoxicated by the wine, completely forgot her husband’s wish and, drowsy from the wine, laid down in bed. Since the count now had no one to talk to, he followed her example, and they both fell asleep without a care in the world.  

When the merchant had already travelled several miles from the city, he realised that he had left the main statement of his accounts at home. It occurred to him that he would not be able to carry out his plan without it, and he was forced to return home. In order to complete his journey more quickly, he left the carriage with a servant at an inn, while he himself hurried home on horseback.

He arrived in the city at exactly midnight, dismounted his horse in front of his house, tied it to the gate, took out the master key, and went to wake the clerk, who needed a lamp in his room every night. OH, how terribly frightened Karl was when he recognised his master’s voice, for he knew that the unknown guest had not yet left the house; he jumped out of bed and opened the door. The master, without saying a word, lit the candle on the table and quickly hurried to his room.  

Oh, what joy filled him as he thought of his most faithful wife sleeping sweetly. He quietly went to her room, slowly opened the door, and entered.  

A man who had seen a lightning strike in front of him would not be as frightened as the merchant in the moment when he saw men’s clothing scattered on the table and two people lying in bed; his blood heated and he rushed from one room to another like a man possessed, seized two pistols, loading each with two bullets, and designated one for his faithless wife and one for her lover, placing them on the table and calling Karl as a witness.  

When the clerk entered the room, half-dead, his master cried out angrily: “Wretched man! Who have you let into my house?” Karl, trembling all over, apologised that he had not seen anyone aside from the barber entering or leaving the house. “Come with me into the room,” said the merchant, “and you will find the faithless woman lying in bed with the adulterer; you shall watch her well-deserved death so that you may be a witness.” Now he took the pistols, one in each hand, and continued: “Watch how these bullets will pierce both of your accursed hearts!” He then ordered Karl to take the candle and lead the way into the room where his wife and the count were fast asleep.  

As they entered the room, the merchant said: “Now, look at the bed, and you will not be able to deny how heinous the sin is between the villain and the lascivious woman.” Then he cocked both pistols and aimed them at the sleeping bodies.

“Oh, by God, most sublime sir,” cried Karl, falling to his knees before him, “have mercy on their souls, lest they be lost forever; just grant them enough time to reconcile with God.” This reasonable request from Karl calmed the merchant and he said to him: “Go to the Franciscan monastery and quickly bring one of the clergymen, so that he may prepare them for eternity.”  

Karl, quite distraught, rushed first to the barber, knocking loudly on the door, and when she opened it, he began to tell her what had happened, trembling all the while. She had little patience for his long-winded account and instead ordered him to wait there until she returned. She rushed herself to the house of her godfather, who was the tailor to the Franciscan monastery, knocked on the window, and begged him politely to lend her a habit so that she could frighten her children who were constantly playing tricks instead of sleeping. The sleepy tailor didn’t think much about this; he got out of bed, took an old habit, and handed it to her at the window. The barber hurried home and told Karl to immediately return to his master with the news that a priest would shortly follow him.  

Now the barber put on the habit, dyed her face, pulled the hood over her head, and hurried into the merchant’s house.

When the disguised priest entered the merchant’s room, he bowed and asked why the master had summoned him there. The merchant began to tell him everything and finished his speech: “Spiritual father, do not delay my unalterable resolve any longer, or I will be forced to send their souls to hell without preparation.”

When the barber realised that she did not have much time to carry out her plan and that her pleas would not persuade the merchant to forgive her, she demanded that he go to his room until she had prepared these two souls for the death decreed.  

Now, the barber quietly went into the room, where the merchant’s wife and the count were still enjoying their deep sleep, went to bed, and began to gently wake them both. Oh, how frightened they were when they opened their eyes and saw a priest standing before them with a lit candle! But the barber, anticipating their terror, said: “Quiet, do not be frightened, little sister. Nor should you, Count, but stand up willingly!” The Count recognised the barber and quickly fulfilled her order, but the merchant’s wife, struck by lightning, could not utter a single word.

Now, the barber quickly took off the habit and said: “Count, put on this habit with great haste, and when you come out of the other room, this woman’s husband will undoubtedly be waiting for you. You must say to him with bold courage: ‘Good sir! It is a sin against God to joke with us poor monks at night when we are saying our prayers. You called me to prepare your wife for death with an adulterer, but there are two women in that bed. It is against God’s will to joke with clergy and make fools of them.’ When you have scolded him properly, go to my house and await my arrival there.”

As the barber was speaking, she was also putting on the count’s clothes. And when the disguised monk had finished his speech to the merchant and was already descending the stairs the barber, dressed in men’s clothes and laughing, ran to the merchant and said: “OH dearest sir, now take a good look at me, how gallantly these men’s clothes fit me. I am certain that you would never recognise me.”

The merchant, stunned, looked at the barber and could not understand the strange incident. “Oh, my dearest sir!” the barber continued, “when you left, your wife began to lament for you so much that she fell from one faint to another. I did everything possible to make her feel better, eventually succeeding after great difficulty, and she became calmer. Then I went home and dressed as a man, so that I could somehow amuse her after she had laid down in bed and fallen asleep, to transform her grief into such laughter and amusement that we both lay down in bed, reassured, and fell asleep so soundly that we did not hear your arrival. I therefore beg your pardon.”

Critical Literature
Murko (1890)Nishimura (2001)
Tonstrix appears in the following versions and secondary versions
Tonstrix is narrated in the following occurrences
No recorded narrations available.
Tonstrix appears in the following manuscripts
This inset story appears in no manuscripts of the database